My semester is over (finally!).
Now I'm off to reading Harry Potter! I'm still on book 6 (Half-Blood Prince). I'm supposed to read books 6 and 7 by Friday so that I can watch Deathly Hallows Pt. 1 with mah friend, but I don't think that that's going to happen. I'm still in "Oh gosh, I can't be reading because I have loads of homework still!" phase. I dislike this phase. Very much. So I'm stuck almost halfway through book 6.
Have I mentioned lately how amazing free laundry is?
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Decisive Battle
I had the weirdest dream last night.
The first thing I remember about it was that I was in a battle. I got hurt. Many times. There was so much blood. I was in blue armor. I had a cape. There was someone else, a guy. He was hurt, too. I remember there being a girl there, and I was thinking "Don't let her see me. I don't want her to get scared." But she saw me. And blood came pouring out. My armor opened and blood mixed with water and poured out. I felt sick.
I had to shower the blood off later in the dream. The guy was handling the water pressure/temperature knobs, which were outside of the curtained stall I was in for some reason. The curtains were white. The floor was tiled. Little tiny square tiles, about the size of the ones in my dorm bathroom. My wounds were pink scars. I don't know how they healed so quickly. But I was still injured. The water still had to be gentle, and warm, not hot.
I don't remember hurting. That's the strange thing. Normally when I have a dream where I get hurt, I can feel where it happened. I can still feel where six bullets shot me in the back in one of my dreams.
Next I remember being in a church. It was the foyer of the church building in Danville, Kentucky, where I grew up. This segment of the dream was completely unrelated to the last part of the dream. Maybe. I feel like something more happened in my last dream, something that I can't remember.
It's Sunday, and I'm dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. I ask my dad to take me home so I can change. We take a detour. Somehow we end up in what almost seems like the middle of nowhere, until we reach a wooden shed that is a garage. Shed is too small a word. It was bigger than a shed. My grandpa was there. My dad's dad. We had ridden up in a red car. He climbed into the passenger seat, I sat in the back, Dad was driving.
Then I remember being in a gym. It had carpeted floor, like the church in Danville, but the setup was more like the Lexington stake center gym. Someone was being chosen. They wanted someone funny. Everyone in the group wanted me to be chosen. The lady in charge picked another girl, saing something about church humor not being the same. I tried to feel happy for the girl that was chosen, but deep inside I wanted to be the one that was chosen.
I don't remember anything after this. It all seems so random. These are the parts that I remember the most.
My back hurt when I woke up.
The first thing I remember about it was that I was in a battle. I got hurt. Many times. There was so much blood. I was in blue armor. I had a cape. There was someone else, a guy. He was hurt, too. I remember there being a girl there, and I was thinking "Don't let her see me. I don't want her to get scared." But she saw me. And blood came pouring out. My armor opened and blood mixed with water and poured out. I felt sick.
I had to shower the blood off later in the dream. The guy was handling the water pressure/temperature knobs, which were outside of the curtained stall I was in for some reason. The curtains were white. The floor was tiled. Little tiny square tiles, about the size of the ones in my dorm bathroom. My wounds were pink scars. I don't know how they healed so quickly. But I was still injured. The water still had to be gentle, and warm, not hot.
I don't remember hurting. That's the strange thing. Normally when I have a dream where I get hurt, I can feel where it happened. I can still feel where six bullets shot me in the back in one of my dreams.
Next I remember being in a church. It was the foyer of the church building in Danville, Kentucky, where I grew up. This segment of the dream was completely unrelated to the last part of the dream. Maybe. I feel like something more happened in my last dream, something that I can't remember.
It's Sunday, and I'm dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. I ask my dad to take me home so I can change. We take a detour. Somehow we end up in what almost seems like the middle of nowhere, until we reach a wooden shed that is a garage. Shed is too small a word. It was bigger than a shed. My grandpa was there. My dad's dad. We had ridden up in a red car. He climbed into the passenger seat, I sat in the back, Dad was driving.
Then I remember being in a gym. It had carpeted floor, like the church in Danville, but the setup was more like the Lexington stake center gym. Someone was being chosen. They wanted someone funny. Everyone in the group wanted me to be chosen. The lady in charge picked another girl, saing something about church humor not being the same. I tried to feel happy for the girl that was chosen, but deep inside I wanted to be the one that was chosen.
I don't remember anything after this. It all seems so random. These are the parts that I remember the most.
My back hurt when I woke up.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
I Hate Everything About You
I was going to do something similar to the list/poem from "10 Things I Hate About You", but right now, I'm too angry.
I HATE YOU.
I hate how EVERY time you bat those stupid cocky eyes in my direction I fall head over heels over you, knowing that we will NEVER be! I hate how you think my entire world revolves around you, and that no one else would save me if I were drowning! I hate dropping everything the moment you give me attention! I'm so sick of waiting and wanting and wishing and nothing ever comes of it, just heartbreak and weeks of tears. I hate how you know all this, but nothing ever changes. I hate how you're all that I can talk about, and how my roommates still think I'm in love with you. I hate how you can tease me all you want and you don't think it does a thing to me because you're "just playing". I used to go to sleep to wake up to you. Now I go to sleep to get away from you.
Guess what. I'm not. I'm tired of having my heart broken. I'm tired of being there for you, and you being there for me. I hate being so close and so far to someone. I deserve someone who doesn't have to edit themselves for me.
I would rather be alone and unloved than waiting for you.
Happy Valentine's Day.
I HATE YOU.
I hate how EVERY time you bat those stupid cocky eyes in my direction I fall head over heels over you, knowing that we will NEVER be! I hate how you think my entire world revolves around you, and that no one else would save me if I were drowning! I hate dropping everything the moment you give me attention! I'm so sick of waiting and wanting and wishing and nothing ever comes of it, just heartbreak and weeks of tears. I hate how you know all this, but nothing ever changes. I hate how you're all that I can talk about, and how my roommates still think I'm in love with you. I hate how you can tease me all you want and you don't think it does a thing to me because you're "just playing". I used to go to sleep to wake up to you. Now I go to sleep to get away from you.
Guess what. I'm not. I'm tired of having my heart broken. I'm tired of being there for you, and you being there for me. I hate being so close and so far to someone. I deserve someone who doesn't have to edit themselves for me.
I would rather be alone and unloved than waiting for you.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Almost Easy
I feel really fat. Like really really fat. I ate too much over this break (because my dang parents keep feeding me!). So now I have this bulging belly that threatens to become the next zeppelin. I can't wait to get back to college and go to the gym. I suppose that I could use the excercise bike here, but that would attract stares and questions and pointing fingers of smaller siblings, and the less attention my fat gets, the happier I will be.
On the up-side, we're about to trek out to the library. I will be getting a new card signifying that I have, in fact, turned 18 (because everyone knows it's not official until you get a new library card). This also means I can check out movies. I'm going to get "500 Days of Summer", "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", and "Never Been Kissed". The only one that might not work out is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", but only because my mother hates that movie, and since I'm living in her house I have to play by her rules. I, on the other hand, consider that to be one of my favorite movies period.
I registered for next semester's classes, and I got so excited because I finally found an English class that had reopened and I got the last seat. And then I looked up the Women's Choir that I'm going to be auditioning for. They practice three days a week. On one of those days is my English class. Stab to the heart. I'm still going to try out, and see if the conductor will let me still join if I promise to practice really hard. I want this spot in the choir. They get to sing in the April General Conference. Heck yes, I'm going to find a way to be in this choir.
I'm ready to go back to college. I absolutely LOVE my family, but I'm very much ready to be independent again. Although, I have to admit, having full-course meals being served every night, complete with vegetables and other delicious things that you didn't have to monetarily worry over, is quite a trade-off. But I'm ready to be back in my own room.
The first thing I'm going to do when I get to college is go to Wal*Mart and buy a Fry-Daddy. Yessir, I'ma gettin' me a deep-fryer. That way I can make spicy chicken and potato skins and french fries to my heart's content. I love bein' from the South.
LIBRARY!
On the up-side, we're about to trek out to the library. I will be getting a new card signifying that I have, in fact, turned 18 (because everyone knows it's not official until you get a new library card). This also means I can check out movies. I'm going to get "500 Days of Summer", "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", and "Never Been Kissed". The only one that might not work out is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", but only because my mother hates that movie, and since I'm living in her house I have to play by her rules. I, on the other hand, consider that to be one of my favorite movies period.
I registered for next semester's classes, and I got so excited because I finally found an English class that had reopened and I got the last seat. And then I looked up the Women's Choir that I'm going to be auditioning for. They practice three days a week. On one of those days is my English class. Stab to the heart. I'm still going to try out, and see if the conductor will let me still join if I promise to practice really hard. I want this spot in the choir. They get to sing in the April General Conference. Heck yes, I'm going to find a way to be in this choir.
I'm ready to go back to college. I absolutely LOVE my family, but I'm very much ready to be independent again. Although, I have to admit, having full-course meals being served every night, complete with vegetables and other delicious things that you didn't have to monetarily worry over, is quite a trade-off. But I'm ready to be back in my own room.
The first thing I'm going to do when I get to college is go to Wal*Mart and buy a Fry-Daddy. Yessir, I'ma gettin' me a deep-fryer. That way I can make spicy chicken and potato skins and french fries to my heart's content. I love bein' from the South.
LIBRARY!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs
Everything I have ever felt about any boy is now gone. My slate is wiped clean, my options are all open. I'm going into this semester ready to buckle down and show school what I'm made of, and to expand my social circle. I don't have roommates to do it for me anymore. I'm starting over with a brand new me.
Sorta.
Alright, so I'm still going to be the same. But my attitude towards things is going to change. I'm ready to stop moping around and instead change my circumstances. This break has been alot of letting go of feelings. Most of them. I'm still working on a couple of those.
I'm gonna let go and free fall into this semester. I'm determined to enjoy it, even if my Mesa roommates aren't there to share it with me (which breaks my heart, but I'm excited to meet my new roommate).
Thanks for the memories, everyone! They're dear to my heart. Now I'm moving on. Tally ho!
Sorta.
Alright, so I'm still going to be the same. But my attitude towards things is going to change. I'm ready to stop moping around and instead change my circumstances. This break has been alot of letting go of feelings. Most of them. I'm still working on a couple of those.
I'm gonna let go and free fall into this semester. I'm determined to enjoy it, even if my Mesa roommates aren't there to share it with me (which breaks my heart, but I'm excited to meet my new roommate).
Thanks for the memories, everyone! They're dear to my heart. Now I'm moving on. Tally ho!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Chic'N'Stu
Tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet....
I just took my Chinese final. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Now I have to write out my Book of Mormon final before 3:45, and finish getting presents for my roommmates. And then study for my Science and American Foundations finals. And then I have to take my Math final. I have these butterflies in my stomach in anticipation of these finals, more like dread and fear.
And then I think about the tablet, and those butterflies turn to excitement. I'm torn between two, and the only reason I wouldn't get one of them is because I don't know if I can afford it. T.T Well, time to sell some plasma!
What a splendid pie! Pizza pizza Pie! Every minute, every second buy buy buy buy buy
Pepperoni and green peppers, mushrooms, olives, chives
Need therapy advertising causes need
therapy therapy
Haha, love that song. Chic'N'Stu by System of a Down. And it sums up my entire thought process right now. So hungry, but I don't want to cook anything because I'm going to be leaving this week and I don't want to mess the dorm up. Because goodness knows that I can vacuum and clean bathrooms like crazy, but when it comes to dishes, I'm a lost soul.
Tablet, tablet, tablet, tablet, tablet.....
I just took my Chinese final. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Now I have to write out my Book of Mormon final before 3:45, and finish getting presents for my roommmates. And then study for my Science and American Foundations finals. And then I have to take my Math final. I have these butterflies in my stomach in anticipation of these finals, more like dread and fear.
And then I think about the tablet, and those butterflies turn to excitement. I'm torn between two, and the only reason I wouldn't get one of them is because I don't know if I can afford it. T.T Well, time to sell some plasma!
What a splendid pie! Pizza pizza Pie! Every minute, every second buy buy buy buy buy
Pepperoni and green peppers, mushrooms, olives, chives
Need therapy advertising causes need
therapy therapy
Haha, love that song. Chic'N'Stu by System of a Down. And it sums up my entire thought process right now. So hungry, but I don't want to cook anything because I'm going to be leaving this week and I don't want to mess the dorm up. Because goodness knows that I can vacuum and clean bathrooms like crazy, but when it comes to dishes, I'm a lost soul.
Tablet, tablet, tablet, tablet, tablet.....
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
If I had a Million Dollars....
I'm feeling insanely aggressive right now. For no reason. And I have a final that I'm procrastinating that's due tomorrow. I'm not excited. Especially since I can't go work in my room (it's much too messy from me packing), and Boy Meets World is playing in the living room. And because I'm procrastinating, I'm blogging twice within, what, an hour period?
Good news is that I found a tablet here on campus. It's about $80, unless I get the tablet that's a pen and touch pad tablet. Of course, there's one that looks uber-awesome for $200-$300. I figure that I should get the cheaper one first, test it out, but hey! Art! From a tablet to the comp! With so many oppurtunities! Manipulations! Joy!
I need to go research this tablet, make sure it's what I want. But if it is, I'm so excited! Just think of all the possibilities! I would join the high ranks of DeviantArt! Not that that's the only reason I want one. They are so cool! I get more money next semester from scholarships, etc., and if I get as much as I did this semester left over, that tablet is mine! MWHAHAHA!!!
Now to what I think is the source of my aggresive feelings. I have this awesome roommate, I love her. There is this guy. I want to punch his face in. He totally was a jerk and took advantage of her. I'm not saying he's a downright, dirty-rotten, no-good word I can't say. Well, actually he is right now in my head. He hurt her, and that's not acceptable. The sad part is that he sees what he's done, and he doesn't care enough to change anything about himself. I'm ready to go beat him into a bloody pulp on the floor. AGGRESSION.
Good news is that I found a tablet here on campus. It's about $80, unless I get the tablet that's a pen and touch pad tablet. Of course, there's one that looks uber-awesome for $200-$300. I figure that I should get the cheaper one first, test it out, but hey! Art! From a tablet to the comp! With so many oppurtunities! Manipulations! Joy!
I need to go research this tablet, make sure it's what I want. But if it is, I'm so excited! Just think of all the possibilities! I would join the high ranks of DeviantArt! Not that that's the only reason I want one. They are so cool! I get more money next semester from scholarships, etc., and if I get as much as I did this semester left over, that tablet is mine! MWHAHAHA!!!
Now to what I think is the source of my aggresive feelings. I have this awesome roommate, I love her. There is this guy. I want to punch his face in. He totally was a jerk and took advantage of her. I'm not saying he's a downright, dirty-rotten, no-good word I can't say. Well, actually he is right now in my head. He hurt her, and that's not acceptable. The sad part is that he sees what he's done, and he doesn't care enough to change anything about himself. I'm ready to go beat him into a bloody pulp on the floor. AGGRESSION.
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