Time of Your Life

This post is titled thus because this might take some time to read...sit back and relax. These are an accumulation of short stories written for a journalism project. I've just neglected to put them on until now. Please comment!

And Enjoy.



Vacation
In the end, she decided to pad around the corner on silent feet, jumping off the plastic dumpster into the wet street.
“Eew.”
She hated water. It got her all wet and soggy, which wasn’t at all good for her temperament, and it made her noisy. She shook the water off of her head as a drainpipe busted above her.
“Why?” she moaned. “Why me? Why today? What did I dooo?!”
A short, barky laugh resounded behind her. She swiveled around to face him, a tall, dark figure with a husky at his side. The cat draped across her shoulders awoke with a hiss. She pouted.
“Oh, Calico, must you do that? Sulking doesn’t suit you.”
“Shut it, mutt. Now what do you want here? I thought you were heading to Vegas or Canada or something.”
“I’m getting there, sheesh. My plane doesn’t leave for a couple of hours, anyway. A better question is, what is poor little kitty doing here all alone in the rain?” he scoffed at her predicament.
“Going home.” Calico informed him, turning roughly around and marching off.
“Wait a minute,” he laughed, pulling in front of her, walking backwards to keep her pace. “I didn’t mean it like that. I was only asking what a dry-freak like you was doing in the middle of the storm. I thought you would be curled up watching some teary chick flick sharing popcorn and Fancy Cat with your pal there.”
“If you must know, I was at Tabby’s. “
His face twisted in confusion. “The milk bar?”
“Yeah,” Calico answered defensively. “I went to the milk bar. They flavor theirs with cream.” She smiled dreamily. “Mm…yummy….”
“And you couldn’t have gotten that at home why?”
Calico frowned. “Because theirs is shaken, not stirred.”
He paused in disbelief, then shook his head quickly, clearing his thoughts. “Alrighty, then. Anyway, the reason I came was because I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come with me. I got an extra ticket for Collie, but he got tangled in some family sheepdog crisis. So, I thought it was time you got out for a vacation. I’m going to Hawai’i, by the way.” He winked at her.
Calico mulled it over, then sighed. “Sure, Husky, I’ll go. Just let me get my bags. And maybe stop at Tabby’s for one last drink….”
Husky groaned.

Udder Incompetence
I was so thirsty.
“There – There, I see one!” Juniper jumped excitedly, leaning on the control panel. The ship leaned dangerously. I scrambled to right it, pulling the long, auburn ponytail by the curl at the end to rip her from the panels.
“Jeez, Juniper, you’re so tresam. How many times do I have to tell you to calm it?”
Juniper bowed repeatedly. “I’m so sorry, Tintem! Please forgive me!”
“Stop it. You’ve been ordering those Earth channels again, haven’t you?”
Juniper blushed. “They’re so addictive! Really, you should watch them with me!”
Um…no. I knew just how addicting those shows really were, and I had no intentions of my parents sending me back into isolation. Bad memories….
I steered a hard left as one of them was herded back with the others.
“Wow, they’re getting better,” Juniper whined. “It’s like they don’t trust us anymore.”
“Juniper, they don’t know we exist. It’s all “end of the world” and “death and doom” when we’re involved.”
“They don’t know us at all. So superficial!” Juniper started tearing up, just like she always did. “I just wanted one human friend!!”
I rolled my eyes. “Juniper, stuff it. You need to learn to act like a kuudoes, instead of being such a tres. Even if you did meet an Ertiim, they wouldn’t want to be around someone who sobs all the time.”
“I know,” she sighed dramatically. “I’m just feeling openly emotional. It’s my drama class at benkiuu. “
“Doubt it,” I grumbled. She grinned and skipped over to give me a hug. If I hadn’t been driving, I would have slapped her.
“Don’t be so grumpy,” she insisted, “it makes you look – HEY!”
“Ow! Right in my ear!”
“Look look look! Another one!”
Annoying as she was, Juniper was right. The lumbering black-and-white beast was pasturing farther away from the rest of the herd.
“Alright, I’m going in.” A gentle push on the throttle –
“Can I push the button?!”
“I don’t care; just shut your mouth while I’m trying to drive!” Honestly, what was with her?
Closer, zooming in, retractor beams in position, gearing up, bottom hatch creaking up –
“Now?”
“Yes, Juniper, now.”
We were finally going to get some milk.
I was so thirsty.

Paradox
To Catch a Falling Star
First climb up to the highest tower of the shortest hut, then hold your hand out clenched in a fist close to you. After wards, inhale deeply with quick, shallow breaths. With your right hand hold your left hand…..no, your other left hand. Not bad. The star dully shines in your left hand while your right hand holds your other left hand.
Hold your breath as you blow on the wet fire of the star. It should begin to freeze with heat. As the solid liquid seeps through your dry hand, close your eyes and look at the side – it’s the center of the star. Eyes should appear, but you won’t be able to see them. They’ll speak. They’ll ask something like this: “Let me go, you bumbling pillow of rocks!” And then you will drop it.
Congratulations! You have now successfully caught a star.