Saturday, June 13, 2009

Pages

I love this song. So much. I keep seeing different movies in my head for it....I need to draw them.
I went to a dance. Amazing music. Better lights. I'm writing choppy. That's how I'm thinking/feeling right now. Eaven, thanks for coming. You totally made my night. And I loved showing you my picture. It was so awesome. As soon as I can find my computer cord (and figure out how to put pictures on here), then I'll show it on my blog. It's amazing. Absolutely, completely so.

You can see that his broken soul is bleeding
So you conceal your feelings and wander through my heart
Letting you see through me now only consumes me
Forget your pain and watch me fall apart

That's how I feel sometimes. I feel so out of control, so angry and wrathful, like I want to hurt someone, but I know I can't, because that would be bad. I don't want to be bad. I want to be the good girl that is strong enough to protect someone. Then I fall apart, and I think 'how can I help someone when I can't even figure myself out?' Then Eaven calls, or Spaceman texts, or Athenia chats, and I forget that inside I hurt, and you wander through my heart, stitching up the torn, bleeding soul. I forget the dreams where my mother dies, and I become so afraid because I alwasy follow, until the one dream where you save me, Athenia. I forget the dreams where I get shot five times in the back, where in my dream I feel pain so real. So...thanks....

I'm tired. I have a talk that I still have to write for tomorrow. I'm freaking out about it, but Eaven's talked me through most of it, so I hope it won't be too bad. Meep.

Good night. Sleep tight. Let your dreams be sweet tonight.